The Whale and My Father

I’ve been wanting to write an article about the confusing and complex relationship I had with my beloved father for a while now, but just couldn’t get it going. When I saw The Whale, I connected so deeply with the portrayal of the father and daughter’s relationship that I knew this movie would be the perfect vehicle to share my own story. I’m not yet sure what shape this article is going to take as I flesh it out, but I will offer the requisite warning: this post contains spoilers for The Whale (2022).

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Preparing to Confront my Mother Wound

There is something that has been eluding me throughout all my healing work. My mother has somehow managed to be mysteriously absent from a lot of my inner work. My relationship to her has never been as much of a priority to me as my relationship with my father has. Across my adult life, it seemed obvious that my father was the root cause of many of my adverse behaviors and internal experiences. It was natural to look to the giant looming over me and conclude that this was my dragon to slay, none the wiser to the shadow being cast from my feet: my Mother Wound.

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